After gaining a greater understanding of narcissism and doing the work to heal from your individual wounds, it is vital to maintain just a few issues in thoughts to interrupt the cycle and keep away from that legacy of narcissism, which Behary talked about. Which means doing the whole lot in your energy to maintain your youngsters from having the identical expertise and growing up to be narcissists themselves.
One of the vital vital elements is permitting your youngster to expertise some separation from you, in keeping with psychoanalyst Laurie Hollman, Ph.D.
“There’s a stage of kid growth known as separation-individuation in the course of the first three years of life,” Hollman writes in her ebook Are You Living With a Narcissist? “That is when the kid should work out his have to really feel near an admiring mom whereas additionally creating a wholesome separation the place he can tolerate that he’s not all-powerful and grandiose.” In different phrases, permit your youngster to develop their very own identification other than you, and to really feel secure doing so.
On the identical time, it is vital for folks to set limits–especially in the event that they’re frightened about elevating a future narcissist. Some mother and father battle to self-discipline, particularly those that are people-pleasers because of themselves being raised with narcissistic mother and father. However youngsters require wholesome limitations.
“The kid wants [his mother] to set limits in order that he is aware of learn how to relate to others in a method that’s acceptable,” Hollman writes. “If he’s too highly effective, he expects that he’s entitled to greater than a toddler ought to have.”